Life is not black and white. I have prayed for two years to get the job I have right now, but every day I question whether that is enough. Because what we think we want and what we need to be happy doesn’t always align.
It does not take away from our gratitude because without a doubt, I am truly grateful for everything I have ever received and also everything I did not receive. I believe that God knows best, especially when it comes to our hearts. We may think we want something but it is not granted to us, instead something far greater than we could have prayed for is what is in store for us.
I could ask, beg and plead for something specific over a long period of time. Or I could pray differently? I’ve learnt that praying for what God deems as good for me, is better than anything I could ask for. Let me give you some examples of how my prayers have been answered.
Towards the middle of 2019, I had the perfect plan. I needed to be on a higher level at my financial industry job to be able to obtain a sabbatical. This sabbatical would be something that I had planned for that would change my life in so many ways I could not even begin to explain. But I’m going to try…
I found a scholarship programme that takes a selected few people around the world, over a six month period. In this all-expenses-paid programme, you will experience many things that will test you as a person, change you as a human and also teach you things you are only able to through experience. It will aid the world with charity from the minute you sign up.
The main focuses of the programme is:
Good Health and well-being
Sustainable cities and communities
Responsible consumption and production
They collaborate with a number of NGO’s around the world and together with the selected group of individuals, we are able to change and aid a multitude of people around the world.
Part of their manifesto is
We are growing a movement of globally-minded Humanizers who are dedicated to making the world a better place. We first focus on each individual, connecting to a like-minded community, so then we can all Humanize our world.
I feel that this programme was completely tailored to my soul. I wanted in and was willing to go through a seven month process to hopefully be selected. I took the first steps to sign up, pay a small fee, because as explained that is how the funding for the programme starts and also because a portion of that fee goes to specific charities that was also disclosed beforehand.
The second step I took, was to finally apply for the position I needed to, and have been praying and working towards for two years (in the financial industry). It was a vigorous process in itself but thankfully I got the job! It was the biggest step and the most natural step in my career path and I finally felt ready.
Then to wait after sign-up for me to take a very detailed questionnaire for the scholarship programme. The results of the 200 questions would determine the kind of human I am, indicating my strengths and weaknesses , many other really useful characteristics were defined as well.
After careful consideration, they will group all applicants with similar traits and then tailor a new questionnaire or positions available for application. There would include, World Changers, Travel Writers, StoryTellers, to name a few. But it was basically like applying for the job titles, with more background on you as a person and also suggested titles you could apply for.
With everything being reviewed, my results came back as World Changer. Suggested titles I should apply for was StoryTeller and Writer. So I applied and waited the next step. This was a seven month process. Eventually, after months of waiting for all the entries, there was a selection process.
I made the cut!!! I was thrilled and over the moon. This was the second round of selections and I was stoked to still be a part of the journey. The third step in the process was very technical questions about equipment (like photography lighting and technicalities about the cameras used, the apertures, etc. ). There were hundreds of people who did not make this step and we all shared our disappointments and our joys in an online community. It was a family all around the world, where we made friends and created groups for other travelling programmes that was also hosted by the same company.
I went through all the technicalities and then we again had to wait for the selection process after a month. In the meantime, we were able to communicate and get to know each other and they offer many rewards around the world still included in the joining fee. The next round was the final round before video calls with the directors of the company, where the selected few will be interviewed and then selected.
And then the day for the selections… I didn’t make the cut. I made it through the 3 rounds and all that was left was a video interview! I, was, shattered! All of my plans fell through that I had so carefully designed and thought out is no longer going to go according to plan. This programme that I truly felt was tailored to me was NOT GOING TO HAPPEN?!
I still had my new job to start in the following month and I have been working towards it for two years prior so I was truly grateful I didn’t opt to put it all on the line (should I have been selected and the sabbatical wasn’t approved). I was ready to give up my job for this scholarship because of how tailored it was to me and I would have lost all stability and career path would have been set to null.
Okay, let’s get back to prayers and trusting what is meant to be. Should I have been selected, the journey around the world would have commenced in February 2020. Well it did. The selected seven individuals embarked on the journey in February and started their incredible programme, learning and absorbing so much of the beautiful world around us and then the more unforeseen pandemic hit the globe! Corona Virus (COVID-19).
I was at a loss for words! Complete rendered speechless because I could have been in a faraway place, away from family, completely lost or worst yet, I could have travelled to the wrong place at the wrong time and maybe I wouldn’t be here writing this today? We will never know but the entire programme was aborted. The individuals had to return home. We are still in the centre of this pandemic and we have no clarity of when things will change, economies will be rebuilt or what the future holds.
Needless to say, and this is my own little miracle as to why I wasn’t chosen for something that I want(ed) more than anything! There is a saying:
We plan, and God laughs.
And I think that is so accurate. We should plan, but I don’t think the detail is what is important to determine success. There are so many moments when I realise why something never worked out for me. We need to be more adapting and more resilient to change because more often than not, it works out better.