I’ve been writing really long statuses on my Instagram posts because I felt that I don’t engage as much as I should. But even when I do that, the engagement is made up of strangers telling me how beautiful I am and typically never has anything to do with the creativity of the content.
I appreciate the compliments but is it really a compliment to me if I played no real part in the creation of my outer shell? I guess I’m always searching for that validation of my work, if it’s worthwhile for me to keep creating, to keep sharing if that old dude from Nowhere’s Land is the only one appreciating the fact that I posted a picture of myself or shared an activity?
It’s hard to keep fighting for the recognition that my passion is validated by the masses, even when essentially it started because I wanted to, because I believed my passion was worth sharing, because what I’m doing goes beyond skin deep.. or it’s surface, but would you still continue putting every atom of your being into something that nobody else believes in, but you? How do you then measure your successes?
When I think about it, there are billions of people out there, living their lives, millions of which are doing the exact same thing, but there is a little tiny spark within each of them, making them somewhat unique. So what makes me unique, you might ask?
Well, I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not that I blog, or that I take photographs, it’s not that my outer appearance is a little different to half the population. I simply don’t know. When I look at my peers, I think that my content is different because I’m not using my dare I say it… “sex appeal” that seems to be one of the biggest selling points of most marketers out there, I try to use my authenticity… the natural, completely 100 percent “ME” factor. But then again, who says that the ones posing in bikini’s after a few cosmetic procedures aren’t living authentically as well? Just in their own way.
So here I am, thinking all these years that I have it all figured out. Appreciating where I came from, determined with where I’m heading and completely and entirely content with where I am. But who am I? What it my “Legend worthy” purpose in this life?
The thing about a passion is that, it’s part of who you are. The moments when you get to live them, is moments where everything just feels right. It fits…. YOU fit perfectly because somehow it makes sense. They say that “If you love what you do, you will never have to work a day in your life”. Imagine the gift that is, to actually live your passion.
Realistically a very few percentage of people get to live that life. The rest of us are pretty much split into two… some that are doing everything in their power to obtain their dreams… and others that have given up believing it’s even obtainable, so they just settle for what they get. No ambition and no remorse either… just complacency.
Realized recently how fine that line is. I also thought that I will drive toward my passion until my car officially breaks down, but that road down complacency avenue seems pretty inviting right about now. The only reason I haven’t quit blogging and social media all these years, is because I honestly LOVE doing it! More than anything else, it is something that I have always felt proud of. Not because of any level of success of recognition (because that’s few and far between) but because I started it all on my own.
It’s not something I tried to mimic that I saw somewhere else, or because everyone else was doing it, it’s something that I started way before blogging was as big a thing as it is now. It has since been over-taken by fashion bloggers, funny bloggers and everything else bloggers. My journey started because I loved writing and enjoyed taking photographs. Facebook was the platform I used to share my creativity, but these journals and wild thoughts and images were quickly overtaken on my feed by random status updates and people couldn’t find it. They asked that I start a website where they can just see my writing and my photography and I took it from there.
It slowly grew and I was so taken aback when my blog was viewed in over 184 countries around the world! Like WHAT?! But with the multitude of bloggers and YouTubers around, how does my content stand out? We can’t be watching a million random people just living their lives. I guess I tried to adapt, tried posting about fashion and beauty and all of the things I thought people were interested in. Though somehow, I never quite felt like I fitted into those clicks. I couldn’t judge a persons “cool-factor” based on their clothing. I couldn’t judge whether a person was worth my time because they sat front row at fashion week.
I enjoy beauty, fashion, and some of those things, but I never understood… the audacity that comes with it. I never really related to many in that world. I had a few friends I thought were true but have you ever watched how little honeybees circle around the queen bee? that is kinda what its like when somebody popular is around in the clout world.
Chasing clout is a major factor in getting ahead quickly and hanging with the “cool kids” whether you actually like them or not. I’ve heard so many speaking ill of others that they overly praise when they’re face-to-face and I want no part in that.
Is it even possible to obtain an authentic following… in this generation?
I have a question, if let’s say according to society your passion that you worked towards for over a decade, or what just seems like a really long time, is a fail… Should you give it up? But tell me, if you do call it quits on your passion, what would you settle with doing? Because all the time spent dedicated to your passion would have taken you away from doing anything else so no matter what you start, you’d have to start from zero and without the passion would you ever truly give it 100 percent?
Life is funny. It’s there to build you up and right when you feel like you’re on top of the world, you hit a rock and fall back a few feet. Success is measured by how many times you get up and not so much how far you really get but that feeling you get when you fall sometimes makes it so hard to get up that you’d rather just lay there. I’ve had so many moments like this recently… But I’m here and I guess I’ve decided to get up again, try a little harder and just keep going.
It’s easy to feel alone, like you’re the only one struggling to find purpose, but everyone feels that way, some long term, others just for a minute in a day. But that’s just it… we need to focus on our own paths, our own ambition, our will to get up and really just making sure we’re good, based on what we desire, and not a measure up to another.
I could ramble on, and go off topic and by chance never stop writing, but we have lives to live and getting up to do, so let’s focus on that instead.
Don’t give up on your dreams and passions. Not because others appreciate your efforts but because they’re your dreams and you’re passionate about them. Do what you love, even if you’re the only person who sees itTazz Adams