I’ve had a few requests recently to start talking about relationships on my blog…
It’s not really something I like to discuss because firstly, every relationship is unique and if you want the bond to be truly sacred, it should be kept private.
I’ve never been somebody to share that part of my personal life because I feel the negative energy of others will always creep its way into our lives and make it sort of a prison. You will constantly ask yourself…
“What will they think, if I…”
And being fearful of making a decision in your life, because of what others may think, is certainly not the way to live. I’m not going to go Dr Phil on you and try to tell you what to do and what not to do because every relationship is different and unique. I’m not going to tell you to add more spark or take away some of this or change some of that, because we all want different things in life. I’ve always cherished relationships in the sense of bonding with somebody whether it is your life partner or just a friend.
I feel that we all live our lives in the ways we think we should. Some of us are meant to care for our families, some of us are meant to be married and have kids and some of us choose to be alone. I feel that we all have our purpose in life, we all have that special goal we are working towards. . . but sometimes life hits you with a fast-ball and before you can get back on your feet, you just sit there and wonder if it’s all worth it.
Some people are so engrossed in their careers and living the life they’ve always dreamt of, so friendships and searching for a life partner takes a back seat. Some are so set on finding a relationship that they lose themselves trying to bend and fold trying impress the other person. Some are so dedicated to caring for a loved one that they simply cannot think beyond that. Some just don’t want to a part of any of it, because maybe they have been hurt in the past, or they simply don’t know what they want.
The golden rule of life is knowing what you want, knowing what you like and what you’re willing to sacrifice to get it. A relationship isn’t something you get and simply have. It is kind of like a car ride. . .
Sometimes you pick up a passenger, and let them into your car (life) and you enjoy a few incredible milestones along the way and then you just keep driving on a never-ending road. The weather may change, sometimes it’s sunny (good times) and sometimes it rains (hard times), no matter how many speed bumps you find along the way, your passenger is still sitting right there next to you. We don’t kick the passenger out of the car every time the wipers turn on, we wait until it clears a bit or we turn the music on, kick our feet up on the dash and drown out all the other sounds in the car, we all have our own dreams and destinations and sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads not sure whether to keep driving or to get out, take a walk for a while and then either get back in or find a new ride.
Okay, I know I’m simplifying things but why not? I guess feelings and emotions get in the way of that, but at the end of the day… life is simple, we choose to complicate it.
If we decide on something and we are not happy with the way it feels, we need to either change our decision or live with our regrets, either way, we cannot just ignore it in hopes that it will disappear. That is feel is the reason people are unhappy. We blame other for the decisions we make and half the time those very people we are blaming has no clue that we are even unhappy. We leave too little to the unspoken world of oblivion and not enough to necessary conversation.
I believe so much in the ‘speaking about it, solves just-about everything’ but it’s so hard to practice it. Sometimes we leave it to the other person to speak about it first, sometimes we think speaking won’t help and seldom times speaking about it could just make the break apart a lot worse.
I think the rule about speaking about things, is to know what your message is that you are trying to bring across, know what it is you need closure on and realise, beforehand, that things may not go according to your plan.
I would like to emphasize that finding a great friend and/or partner starts with finding your self First. It is greatly important to know what you like, what you don’t, what you are willing to give and what you need to keep the relationship going. If you do not know these things, it would not be fair for somebody else to figure it out for you. Happiness starts with YOU.